So we'll be fine that last demonstration quite insightful interesting and hopefully also quite reassuring
that life coaching need not be so complex in fact it can actually be very very simple when we know what
we're looking for.
We know what we're listening for.
And also when we end up partnering or working with people who are ready to move in life.
In this video we'll just want to share a further a few further distinctions on the purpose of life coaching.
You know there are some people out there that see life coaching as a really complex modality though
over the years I've read some pretty complex books on on life coaching and I've spent tens of thousands
of pounds on attendance based courses and I've got all of the accreditation and all the certificates
and have any of these things really aided me in my ability to coach people in life.
And the answer honestly is is no.
Remember a few years ago invested into some accreditation I thought that would give me the authority
that I needed to be a life coach and then what I later discovered was that life coaching is actually
unregulated which means that accreditation certification is actually irrelevant what is relevant is
how competent we are engaged in clients from point A to Point B which therefore means the life coaching
is a progressive process and this is kind of what differentiates it from counseling and some of the
other helping modalities to videos ago I suggested that Life Coaching isn't counselling is not therapy.
It's not static it's not stationary it does not remain the same.
There always must start with the end in mind.
And we are never going to be able to coach a person in life or through a season of their life unless
they actually have a tangible vision of something that they're working towards or something that they
want or something that they want more off.
Now a few videos ago I suggested there's a massive difference between negative motivations and positive
motivations.
Think about them sometimes in life.
Perhaps you've known someone who was really hell bent on going on a diet and they say I want to lose
20 pounds or 30 pounds or I want to lose a few stone in weight I want to get my body in shape for the
summer.
Know what they're talking about as they might talk about getting their body back in shape.
They might talk about losing some weight to the might say that these are some things that I really really
want but what I'm going to suggest is that those aren't what people really want at all or.
What people really want is what they are going to be able to get as a result of them lose in a better
way to get their body back in shape or something like this.
So what I'm saying is it's absolutely crucial though when we start working with someone even on the
initial consultation that we're getting clear on a tangible practical outcome that our client actually
wants to see happen in their life.
There's going to be defined in the positive and not by the negative.
Many people will be very very good at going through life talking about everything that they don't want.
A great example of this here in Scotland especially is when people set New Year's resolutions no another
word for resolution is to resolve to resolve something to leave something behind and step into something
new.
Well we're only ever going to step out of something if we don't want it anymore or if it has served
its purpose.
So news resolutions are generally at the end of the year or the start of a new year where people write
a long list of things are going to stop doing perhaps some things they're going to start doing more
off and nine times out of ten.
Most people that I've worked with who've set a list of New Year's resolutions are pretty much is writing
a list of negative motivations things that they no longer want to do or know things that they no longer
want in their life.
What I'm going to suggest is that negative motivations will never positively motivate us.
Why.
Because negative motivations do not inspire us all right.
And this is one of the key principles I just want to share in this video.
In order for a client to take practical tangible steps towards getting closer to where they are and
leaving the past behind they've got to be inspired by what others is they actually want.
They must be able to see how it is that their life is going to be positively enhanced in some way by
the school that they set.
So say for example client comes to you and this is what many life coaches set themselves up to make
themselves available for clients come along and see I am stressed I'm anxious I don't want to feel stressed
no more than a life coach sits down and tries to establish the truth.
Why do you feel stressed and how do you feel stress and when there's your stress come into your life.
At what point of the day and all this kind of stuff then the focus becomes all about stress and what
the focus isn't on is on what they actually want the focus actually merely becomes and what they don't
want.
So guess how they end up feeling more and more stressed and this might sound like complete insanity
but believe it or not this is how many people operate his life coach and practitioners all right or
coaches or mentors.
By focusing on people's negative motivations so the idea that I want to share with you in this video
is that we must always start the coaching process with the end in mind and the end must always be stated
and are positive i.e. a tangible real time outcome that our client actually wants.
Because this gives us the context and the purpose for the coaching relationship we start with the end
in mind.
Now what you probably saw in our last demonstration was what I finally done with calm at the end of
the conversation I said and how will you know once you've achieved this goal you close your eyes for
a second and visualize it.
How will you feel and then Karen responded and she muses.
Going to be lovely and all that kind of stuff.
And this is kind of what I was talking about earlier on when I say that unless a client has a compelling
future for a better or compelling vision for a better future they might struggle to take the actual
steps required to get from where they currently are away from their current reality and towards this
eventual outcome that they ultimately want.
All right.
No the question you might be asking is how are we gonna know whether our client is actually ready to
make change ready to take action.
How are we going to know whether our client is driven by a positive motivation or negative motivation.
Well my friend is going to be determined by just how effectively we learn to use these which is I want
to.
Which is something I want to share a few insights with you around and the next clip if that's okay.